Hillary Schaefer

I have specific training in PTSD and techniques to address it, but can also help with other kinds of trauma, be it from a relationship, an event, religious trauma, or trauma from being in a marginalized group. With trauma there's often a "rock" (something that happened) and the "ripples" in the pond that resulted - we don't have to address the rock if you're not ready, and I can help you feel better about the ripple effects that are hurting right now.

Anxiety can look a lot of ways: specific worries on repeat, vague feelings of doom, avoidance, body stuck in "fight or flight," and people-pleasing (yup, that one too). I have a deep well of tools to help you cope, so you can find new ways of thinking and being. I often provide folks with a list or options of things to try - if one approach isn't it, there's always another.

I suppose all therapists specialize in "stress," or we wouldn't be particularly helpful, right? That said, whether it's a relationship, job, your family, part of your identity, something that's missing, something that happened, whatever IT is that is causing stress, I have a lot of different ways I can help you be more resilient to it. We can understand IT better, and I have lots of tools when you're ready to make changes to what you're thinking or doing about it.

What's the evidence for your thoughts, your worries? How does avoidance or procrastination snowball over time, and how can you stop it? What sort of things are you missing in your chain of logic? CBT has fallen out of favor for some, and it's not the only option we have, but it contains a wide range of tools to help anxiety, mood, anger, and relationships. If you're into data, journaling, or reflection, you might really find it helpful.

I use a blend of internal family systems (understanding parts of the self that serve certain roles), traditional family systems (roles, projections, patterns), and structural family theory (what are/were the family roles and rules) to help understand how your childhood influences your adult relationships - romantic, platonic, and at work. I find this critical for folks coming in with family trauma, but it comes up in a lot of other work as well! It's a stereotype, but let's talk about your mom.

Sometimes, instead of interrogating our thoughts with CBT, it can be helpful to realize that sometimes our thoughts are garbage. Really. Sometimes our minds, in their effort to keep us alive and learn from the past, are throwing us stuff that is no longer useful. Other times, we're stuck between what we want and what we're actually doing. I like to use ACT to help folks get unstuck by letting go of things that aren't functioning well for them.